It's important to be happy with yourself. That's what I've learned as I got older. I was always an introvert and never had TONS of friends, but I struggled with the fact that I never did have tons of friends. I am just now accepting that I don't WANT tons of friends anyways. I am comfortable being with myself and having the few best friends I do have.

It's not the best feeling to be alone a lot but hey, it certainly made me stronger to accept myself the way I am and to be happy with myself. I moved to another state and have had trouble making friends after I moved, so now I don't really have any close friends yet, but if I didn't feel this way I'd just be so depressed that i'd be torturing myself. So I wouldn't want that.

I think as a result, if I had a party now and no one showed up, I wouldn't give a crap. I'd say "good" and drink by myself. I have had a lot of trouble relying on people and getting dumped on through the years so that's probably why I am this way now. I am actually exactly like you. A guy you can depend on, call at 2 am to get you out of jail. If you call me, it'll actually bother me to ignore you or to not do anything. I am just getting to the point the past year though where I feel like it is a waste of my time to help anyone who wouldn't do the same in return. Plus all the friends I've helped that blow me off later and act like I don't exist even though I was their best friend in hard times.

You tend to get stronger over time and it is a good thing to be happy with yourself and not depend on others unless you know for a fact you could depend on them.

I used to be some sort of social butterfly when I was 20ish. I was very friendly with groups of people and made acquaintances quickly. At least quickly enough to have a couple of drinks with them or a random hang out. To give some sort of perspective at the time I had like 1k friends on Facebook. It's sort of like a bizarro-Ferris Bueller situation. Everyone knew me around campus but nobody would really do anything for me if I asked.

Growing up, you're made to believe that a birthday is an important day to be shared with friends and family. You see your friends throwing surprise birthday parties, having a formal gathering, and showering the birthday boy/girl with gifts. But when it's your birthday and you invite your friends but no one shows up, no one throws you a party, and you don't get any gifts, you are left feeling alone, confused and just pitiful. It's only when you pass the age of 21, having nothing left to look forward to, do you then realize that birthdays are meaningless devices used as an excuse to have some fun and no one actually cares except your parents or your spouse.

This is all in hindsight of course.